Mixed thoughts.

It's gonna be a wordy post ahead so brace yourself for it!

Met up with the Orthodontist earlier this morning and was given further details about what is going to happen next since I have already decided to proceed with the surgery.. and also what do I have to prepare myself for as well.

Basically, the Orthodontist showed me a timeline on how whole thing will be executed and telling me what to expect and most importantly, I will have to listen to her and do whatever she says to achieve the best results.

While we are discussing, I have also managed to told her that how my Mum and I were afraid to go ahead with this surgery (oh, and my Mum kept dissuading me to cancel this whole surgery thought and I understand, from a parent's POV that no parent would want to see their kids to go through any danger especially since there are defnitely risks involved in a surgery, regardless it is a big or small surgery but I kept telling her that life is really kinda meaningless for me if I have to live another 20, 30 or even 40 years like this but let's save this story for another day, if there comes a day that I want to share on this platform). Telling the Orthodontist didn't help much in making all the nervousness goes away but my heart did felt light though.

Anyway, emotions aside, my Orthodontist told me that I have two options I can decide from - I could either opt to put on the braces first then go for the surgery later but, the surgery will only happens in 9 months' time as we need to wait for the braces to set in first and all (Really can't remember what did she said since I wasn't really that keen in this option) and second, I can opt to put on the braces 48 hours before the surgery so that the braces will not have enough time to set in. Quite confusing, aye?

Obviously I chose to go for the 2nd option since there will be a semester break in 2 months' time and I could really make use of the semester break to rest well at home with zero stress coming from the school. There is also another reason why I opted for this option is because the micro-implants will be done during the surgery as the 1st option requires you to be present for the micro-implants on a separate day after the braces is done. There are both advantages and disadvantages for both options so my advice is that you choose the option that suits you best in accordance to your schedule etc. I thought that there will be no-one going for the 1st option since it's kind of a draggy process but the Orthodontist told me that another patient of hers actually opted for the 1st option as the patient is currently studying overseas at the moment. So, it really depends on the individual.

Nevertheless, I was still feeling jittery and contemplated whether to tell both my Surgeon and Orthodontist to postpone the surgery because everything sounds so terrifying and even if you give me a million years to prepare myself, I will never ever be 100% ready. But then, I was suddenly introduced to another patient of the Orthodontist after I am done with my appointment who had went through the surgery.

I was introduced to S and I suddenly felt so glad that I can talk to someone about my fears and all for this whole thing. S is really nice and patience throughout our whole conversation and she even showed me pictures and told me what to expect and not to overthink. I was really glad that I have met S as I am more certain about my decision after my conversation with her. We even exchanged contact number and it's always assuring to know that someone is there to guide you or even give you advice or even just be there for you. Despite the conversation with S, one still can't help but get nervous about a surgery.

Left the clinic with mixed thoughts but mostly are happy ones except that I am still accepting the fact that I will have to pay a sum of money upfront for my next visit at the Orthodontist. Also, it seems like I have decided on the date of my surgery without giving much thoughts to it out of nowhere since I was in a blur after digesting so much information.

Still alive.

Hola to you humans reading this post!

Haven't been updating for quite a while as I was busy with both work and school for the past month so I hadn't really have enough time to ponder about the jaw surgery issue but I do still think about it whenever I look at myself on the mirror.

I am close to finishing all my assignments for this semester and it's time to get down to business! Let's go back to the topic, to what you are here for :)

Got my quotation from the Surgeon as requested by my Insurance Agent because I have to get the financial stuff settled first else I won't be able to recuperate in peace after the surgery even though I am willing to be in debt just to go through this surgery but obviously it's even better if I don't have to think about my money while I am trying to recover.

Can't give any further update since I have to give the nod and arrange the date for the surgery in order for the professionals to proceed with the next step...

To be honest, I keep getting the cold feet and wanting to cancel this whole damn thing the more I read about this surgery because life is so short so why am I putting myself through this ordeal but because life is so short, I don't want to waste more time pondering over this issue again (I have already wasted 4 years thinking about this already) so let's just get over with this as soon as possible and just give me the smile I desire for so long.

Guess the thing I am left to do now is to prepare myself mentally and physically for the surgery.... So scary.

Thanks for reading until here and I really can't wait to give a proper update about this whole damn thing that I have been fussing about..

Adios!